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Zombie Presentations: How Not to Speak like The Living Dead

Zombies. You gotta love 'em.

Like me, you may be a huge fan of The Walking Dead. Or perhaps you laughed and screamed your way through Shaun of the Dead, or thrilled to the amusement park scene in Zombieland. From Abraham Lincoln vs. The Zombies to Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!, we can all appreciate good zombie fare (though probably not at dinnertime). And boy, are these lovable stiff-walkers popular: Wikipedia lists 660 zombie films![1]

Zombie business presentations, however, are another matter. If you find yourself thinking that one of the undead is delivering the speech or presentation you're listening to, it's because a few basic rules are being ignored. To keep from finding yourself in such a horror-inducing situation when you're the one behind the lectern, follow the 5 tips below.

1. Speak to other living things. Let's face it: zombies don't relate well to the still living. And they'll do anything to avoid talking to them. In a zombie's universe, inanimate objects are much safer sources of their attention (unless they haven't chewed on an arm or a leg for four hours or more). Manuscripts, note cards, PowerPoint screens, their shoes, the ceiling, and even the back wall are popular destinations for a zombie's gaze. So avoid the Undead Stare and look at your listeners, making a connection as you discuss the things you share an interest in. Your talk will come to life! (If it wasn't there already.)

2. Reanimate your voice. If your voice sounds like it barely made it back from the grave, it's time to consider some speech improvement. A lively and engaging voice depends upon five key tools: 1) energy and emphasis, 2) pitch inflection, 3) varied pace or rate, 4) pauses and silence, and 5) vocal quality. Dynamic speakers use all five of these tools; zombies, vampires, and other varieties of the-no-longer-living simply don't. Try engaging a werewolf in lively Q & A following his or her presentation and you'll immediately see what I mean. For more, here are the 5 essential speaking techniques for leadership.

3. Shock your heart back to life. You may not realize this during a heart-stopping scene of zombies chasing your movie hero, but your heart doesn't actually stop. A zombie's heart, however, has. Which means they are absolutely lousy at using emotion to move an audience. Persuasive speaking, however, and even informative speaking needs an emotional component. You have to reach your audience's hearts and minds. So it's helpful to ask yourself if there's an emotional element to the speaking situation. And consciously use emotional language to engender the response you're looking for. Believe me, if your audience doesn't see something beating in your chest, they may start chasing you through the streets.

4. Don't Move like a Corpse. Did you know that the theory of embodied cognition states that movement itself helps you think? No wonder zombies stink at conveying their messages--they move like blocks of wood with legs! Added to this is the fact that an audience needs visual variety during a speech. Body language (and here I mean movement from live bodies, not dead ones) can also help audiences engage with you and retain your key points if you move to different parts of the stage. Using appropriate movement and gestures is an exciting area of public speaking effectiveness. Learn to do so now, while you're still breathing. To help, here are the 5 key body language techniques of public speaking.

5. Talk. Don't. Grunt. You know what this sounds like: the speaker peppers his or her speech with "uh," "um," "you know," and "uuuuuuh . . . need blood!" These are called vocalized pauses or vocal fillers. Zombies make these sounds because their mouths are filled with dirt, worms, and sometimes chipped teeth if they've chewed their way through a tombstone. But you're probably not in that situation when you speak, right? If you find yourself using vocal fillers too frequently, practice with a tape recorder or smartphone. Don't videotape yourself because you'll be seduced by the visual. If all you have to pay attention to is your voice, you'll gradually improve in eliminating these utterances which are nothing but, well, dead air.

Key takeaways from this blog:

  • To speak with style and influence, stop acting like a zombie.
  • Zombies hate eye contact with living things, but you should relish it.
  • Learn vocal dynamics to be interesting and avoid sounding dead.
  • Shock your heart back to life if you don't already use emotional language.
  • Neither vocalized pauses or a mouth full of dirt are pleasant for your listeners.





Looking for more ways to connect with audiences for true engagement and influence? Don't be like presenters who just deliver information. Learn how to reach the next level of powerful communication. Download my free cheat sheet, "4 Characteristics of an Influential Speaker."


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